We always want lots of things.

... all the time.

And sometimes ... we even want to possess some of the people from the stage of our lives.

... also maybe totally dominate them ... in lots of weird forms.

I ... personally ... get all the time ... whatever i want ... or whoever i want.

I did that ... all my life.

But the weird fact is that ... recently I've realised ... and totally became aware that ... it's not enough to get what i want.

Nooo ....

That should be too easy.

... much too easy.

 

I actually want to get the things into a certain way ... and maybe totally dominate any situation ... or person ... which i am interested in.

And ... if that's not happening ... i become very, very angry.

... but also annoying.

I even say in front of any situation ... "How dare you?!"

... then I totally disconnect and disappear.

In relationships ... I've behaved the same way ... being into the end so dominant that I don't understand how the hell i could be accepted.

I've done that in ... continuous form.

On ... and on ... and on.

But ... i'm still intrigued why the hell is not enough to get what i want ... and i want all to be into certain way.

Why?!

Most certainly ... i've became toxic.

... so toxic for the others ... that i dare to admit it ... hoping that i will try .... to make a change.

Domination is based on ... a weird energy.

Maybe ... we can't really understand it.

Personally ... most certainly ... i'll not change too soon.

Especially ... in my love relationships.

I have a real addiction for ... dominance.

... to dominate ... to feel the philosophy of love of dominating ... and enjoy that at maximum intensity.

So ... I pretend I don't know myself ... realising i have absolutely no chance ... to improve my behaviour.

It's a true fact.

And i ignore ... all ... but somehow i am really sorry for …

 

my victims.

It all became sort of an ... energetic rape ... but everyone accepts me as i am ... so i just continue being ... a jerk.

 

 

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in love ... but still playing psychological games - 

philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE. 

 

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